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Who Destroyed Somali Hopes and Dreams? Part VI

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Saturday February 21, 2015 - 11:36:57 in Articles by Super Admin
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    Who Destroyed Somali Hopes and Dreams? Part VI

    By Abdulkadir Aden Mohamud "jangeli" [email protected]

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By Abdulkadir Aden Mohamud "jangeli" [email protected]

The literature you are about to read is the end of the seasonal six episodes of the satires posted on the websites. Its contents are based on facts and fictions. It is about Somali politics and plights and the stakeholders are: Ethiopia, Kenya, Al-shabaab, "fadhikudirir”, government of Somalia and the rest of the world.

After a long struggle and confrontation, the Somali parliament approved and gave the vote of confidence to the Prime Minister with his 67 ministers and deputy ministers with the exclusion of the Gang of Four. President Hassan was not happy by any means because in this condition he is afraid to lose the next presidential election, which he declared before any other potential candidate. The Gang of Four advised President Hassan to contact the regional leaders for a meeting in order to change the way Somalia will conduct the next election. The Regional mini Presidents accepted the invitation of President Hassan and one by one they have been welcomed into Mogadishu.

President Hassan: On behalf of my government, I welcome you here in Mogadishu and I am pleased for all regional leaders’ response on my call.

Dr. Abduweli Gas: Mr. President my nation is not a regional administration … we are a state and I am equally entitled to be addressed Mr. president as I am addressing you, so let us be careful about the wordings and use the appropriate titles among us.

Ahmed Madobe: Mr. President I hear you always say ‘I’ll fulfill my obligations and promises,’ yet you promised me, with the presence of Ethiopian ambassador and Mr. Gabre, that Hussan Halane will be the next Prime Minister when Abduweli Sheykh is out. Your promise has not materialized.  Again, in front of Mr. Gabre, you promised me that you would appoint Mr. Halane the Portfolio of the Minister of Finance and Deputy Prime Minister, and that too has not materialized. Today, Mr. Halane is nothing but a common man in the streets of Mogadishu after he financed the money you used to corrupt the parliament.

Sheykh Sunna Wal Jamaa: I am confused Mr. President, are you Head of the government or head of State?

Shariif Hassan: Mr. President when are you going to eliminating Madoobe Nuunow? He is still in Baidhabo, calling himself President of Southwest Regions.

Abdi Qeybdiid: I am still waiting on the verdict of my request on Mudug region to unite with Galgaduud. We can’t continue the process of forming the State of the central region until you solve the Mudug issue.

Dr. Ali k. Galaydh: My State has been invaded by foreign troops, along with some of my own people. Furthermore, my seat has been under a tree for months…..why didn’t you support us militarily to stop this naked aggression? I requested for you to appeal to the U.N about this aggression. Do you want us to take care of our own foreign affairs?

President Hassan was not expecting to hear any of these questions and concerns presented by the head of the regional states, so he asked to have a day or two to study their concerns. The regional leaders accepted the request of the president.……………………………………………………………………

The meeting has ended after one day and the mini Presidents went one after another to Addis-Abeba before returning to their own States. It became a norm that any meetings held in regards to Somali affairs, Ethiopia must be debriefed on the details. It is unfortunate that Somali leaders see it fit to report to Ethiopians about the details of every discussion about Somalia, which gives them the opportunity to keep Somalia in control. Furthermore, they require all leaders to debrief them so that they can compare the facts.


President Hassan did not waste any time. He immediately he called his Closest Dammu Jadid partners for meeting.

Hassan Sheikh: I would like to bring forth the situation that we are facing today, which is not bright for tomorrow. When I have seen how the parliament has been acting and rejecting everything I have presented to them lately, I realized that our plan for 2016 will not work. I called upon the regional presidents to discuss with them how we will conduct the 2016 election. I had in mind to convince the delegations from the regions to elect the president for 2016, but before we could have even started, they showed me hostility and bombarded me with unsolvable questions. So what is our alternative in this situation? 

Farah Sakiin: Mr. President I advised you to stick to the original plan and buy off the members of the parliament. I don’t have any other alternative.

Moon Gab: Mr. President why don’t you dismiss all of them and put in place new hand picked members of the parliament and regional governors... Simple...KKIKKKKKK.

Guled: Mr. President, as you are aware, your countrymen have accused you of only having time to visit foreign countries and none for your own country. This is an opportunity to demonstrate that that notion is simply not true and show good leadership. The main point is to go to the regions and meet with the clan chiefs and buy them off with a lot of cash. You will also ask them to swear on the Holy Quran that they will select members you submit to them for the clan representatives in the parliament. I see that as the best alternative.

Hassan Sheykh: Wonderful! I agree with Guled, so please call Hussein Halane to prepare the cash and charter an airplane.

Farah: Hussen Halane? Are you kidding...he is no longer in the finance department.

Hassan Sheykh: Oh my God I forgot about that. Farah, please connect with Omar Abdirashid to talk to the new minister of fiancé.

Farah Sakiin: I have no authority anymore over the prime minister …did you forget I am out of the government? I am just a common parliament member.

President Hassan managed to charter a Helicopter in order to start contacting clan chiefs and elders.  His first stop was in the beginning of February, 2015 into Dusamareb (Gulgudu). Somali people are fighters, yet they are very hospitable to guests, friends and strangers. Therefore, when the President arrived in Dusamareb, he was greeted with a warm welcome. Community members even milked a she-camel in front of the President for him to drink. Due to the President’s over consumption of the camel milk, he experienced a terrible pain that resulted him to abort his mission all together.

The president was rushed to Germany, chartering a jet from Nairobi to Mogadishu to Berlin. Alas, President Hassan thinks or acts like a Saudi king who has the means to go abroad for little illness like a stomachache or a headache in which local Doctors could treat. 

FADHIKUDIRIR

Ifteen: I wish the new cabinets were smaller in number. Where do we get the funds for the salary, accommodations, logistics and body guards for 67 Ministers? If we calculate the cost of one minister for Somalia, it exceeds $40,000 a month. Also, I believe that it is annoying to have a meeting with 67 people that are there to showoff and sometimes talk nonsense. 

Tagane: I am not worried about their costs of $40,000 if they are ready to limit the damage of misappropriating Somali funds. By the way, I am wondering what the Gang of Four is doing now?

Mubaarak: They are all well placed except for Hussen Halane. Of course they are not happy to be out of the cabinet. But they are still in the presidential palace enjoying evening meals with the president and Halane is excluded because he is not member of Dammu Jadid.

Tagane: Where does Halane come into the picture of President Hassan if he is not a member of Dammu jaddid?

Ifteen: He is product of Ethiopia. He was very generous and obedient to President Hassan while he was the Minister of Finance.

Mubark: I heard he is going to Washington DC to become the next Somali Ambassador to the U.S.

Ifteen: No way. His fingerprints are everywhere: The Capital Hill, the White House and the State Department. The houses that he bought in cash are the evidence of stealing funds. The charities from US taxpayers contributed to relieve Somali people from their hardship have been misappropriated.  Maybe, he will be sent Addis to assist Ahmed Abdisalam.

Tagane: I think every door is closed for President Hassan’s future.

Ifteen: I am sure that Hassan will not come back because he destroyed Somali Hopes and Dreams.

Thank you to all the readers of these six satire articles, in which I started with eight episodes in 2007 titled "who spoiled Ethiopian dreams?” I followed the episodes with seven more in 2009 titled "Ethiopia Leaves the failed warlords as they advance to the active sheikhs!” I intended all these satires to expose and reveal the unforeseen of Ethiopian tricks to control Somalia by dividing first Small clan based enclaves and swallow each region one by one until Somalia vanishes off the face of the earth. Somali politicians believe today that unless they get Ethiopian blessings, they can’t go anywhere close to a political position. GOD WILL NOT HONOR THOSE WHO DISGRACE THEMSELVES. We must promote social cohesion and build resilience against the distractions put forth by Ethiopia and the recruiting tactics of our leaders.


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