Waagacusub.net – An Israeli military officer identified as Thomas Adzegaouskas, who reportedly took his own life last week, left behind a disturbing suicide note describing severe psychological trauma he claims began after the events of October 7th, 2023, according to Israel's Haaretz newspaper.

In the handwritten note published by the newspaper, the officer said the Hamas-led attack of October 7 "destroyed” him mentally and left him unable to continue living with the violence he witnessed and the actions he carried out in response.

"October 7 was the day that destroyed my life and erased the person I used to be. I am exhausted. I have become a damaged person. I did things that are unforgivable, and I cannot continue living with those memories,” he wrote.

The officer described persistent psychological distress, reporting symptoms consistent with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), guilt, and overwhelming feelings of isolation.

"There is a demon chasing me since October 7. Please forget me, and remember Thomas the commander and sniper that I once was,” he continued. "That Thomas died on October 7. What remains is only a soul searching for peace.”

He added that he struggled for two years, unable to cope with what he described as unbearable mental suffering.

Israel has not released official comment on the case, and the Israeli military rarely publishes internal suicide notes. Mental health issues inside the Israeli army have been a growing concern, especially since the Gaza war intensified following the 2023 attack.

The case highlights the long-term psychological consequences of the ongoing conflict — not only for Palestinian civilians, who have endured mass casualties and destruction — but also for Israeli soldiers involved in operations that expose them to extreme violence and moral trauma.

Waagacusub.net will continue following updates from Israeli media regarding the investigation into this incident.